You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
