grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
