To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
