u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
