True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
