you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
