Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
