She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
