i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
