you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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