He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
