You really coming over, don't trick.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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