We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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