Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize