ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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