Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
