escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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