So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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