i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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