We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
