New invention idea: vibrating tampons
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
