Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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