wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize