dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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