You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
