question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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