So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
