Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
