FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
