At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
