But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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