It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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