I'm going to jail i love you
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
