I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
