Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

We're like a lot better than the average bears

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(406): View more from Montana

We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.

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(415): View more from California

I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground

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(970): View more from Colorado

There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.

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(510): View more from California

Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed

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(207): View more from Maine

Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.

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(678): View more from Georgia

im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...

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(214): View more from Texas

Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...

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