High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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