Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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