who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
