I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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