I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
