We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Randomize
