Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
