I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
