bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
