it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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