Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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