Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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