You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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