You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
