My brain says no but my pants say off.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
the liver wants what the liver wants
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
