maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize