I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
