My boss' voice literally gives me gas
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize