Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You're like the curious george of whores
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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