hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize