I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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