I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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