Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
