Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
