Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
