Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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