Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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