wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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