Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
