Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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