Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
There r osticjed everywhere
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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