he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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