I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize