Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
